About Me

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I am in metamorphosis, my world has been altered and I exist in my past and present and look forward to my future. Sometimes I get lost in the chaos that is life but still I am managing to learn to live again. This is a look into the inner workings of my mind!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Who am I really?


A friend posted a blog and a friend of mine re: posted it Regarding "being one of those people!"  It got me thinking – Who are you (am I) at the core of your being?

Click her for Mel's post:

I’m One of Those People…

If you tell me something about myself, I’m gonna internalize it and think on it for hours and days. Good or bad. Right or wrong. I’m gonna ponder. I'm gonna dig deep. I’m an analytical. (For me this is what everyone should do in life.  Change is a process, and people help me see when I need to make a change in my life.)

I am a busy person.  I try to squeeze everything into my time, so if I think I have 5 more minutes – often I will try to tackle something that takes “5 minutes” – being late is part of who I am.  If you say let’s meet at 5, I’ll be there usually by 5:15, and I’ll be frustrated about being late.  I hate being late and having people wait on me but have a hard time balancing time and my endless list of things to accomplish. 

I tend to use the term friend loosely.  I have a hard time trusting people so I have many friendships that are as close as they will ever be – and a few that make me very vulnerable.  If you are my friend, in any capacity I will never hesitate to give/help you in any way I can – I am a giving person.  I can be clingy and obsessed with people – if I like someone I just really like hanging out with them as much as possible but generally can handle being told that they need a break.  I prefer friendships that are deep and those take time to develop.   

If I say I’m gonna do something, I will do my best to keep my word.  I try not to break plans or make promises I can’t keep. I want people to be able to count on me. (Ditto)

If I want to communicate, I’m probably gonna put it in writing. I’m a perfectionist and a lover of language. I like ruminating on every phrase and precisely saying the words in an email, a letter, etc. Face-to-face or on the phone, I tend to stumble along. (I have a hard time remembering what people actually say versus how what they said made me feel.  In writing I have clear definable words to help me figure out what the intention/meaning means versus how it made me feel).

I live intuitively – when I trust my gut (spirit) on something it generally doesn’t steer me wrong.  It is logical but only if you are me.  The more people get to know me, the easier it is for them to see the connections for the choices I make.

I forgive easily.  We are all flawed and will make mistakes. 
I don’t give up easily.  Life offers infinite solutions – we are only limited in our own ability to find them.  So many people give up when I keep pondering how to make it work – I look at life like a puzzle that needs solved.

If I am blunt and painfully honest – don’t take it personally.  I never try to hurt people deliberately/vengefully, and I do think about what I say before I say it.  I don’t have the filter in my brain that says “shield, people from the truth” so you will usually get my actual thoughts and not just what you might expect to hear.  I don’t like to lie, I would rather tell you what I really think then tell you what you want to hear, this can rub some people the wrong way.

Yep, I’m one of those.

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