Blood Work

I don't know why, but life sucks right now! I am in a strange place. For all that pray - I have something going on with my blood. Maybe a liver issue. But whatever it is I am uninsurable by life insurance so I guess it is bad. I will make an appointment with my doc on Monday but I am really bummed about it. I got back the results of the blood test and I have like 7 "Highly" above the levels they should be at. I have know about 2 levels that were high but not about the other ones. I even have high cholesteral (sp?) - I don't even know how you get high cholesteral but I have it.

I am constantly thinking about what life would be like without me around so it worries me that currently I don't have a way to leave any money behind to help raise Titus. I mean hopefully I won't die until I am old and grey... and yes the many scripture passages come to mind about how God takes care of the flowers and not to worry about tomorrow (making plans) because you don't know what tomorrow will be. But they bring little comfort. You always want the best of the best for your children - growing up without a mom, a hard thing but not the end of the world, and many people do it and get through it. Husbands raising a child without the other half - it has also been done. But I know that although money could never replace me it makes things alot easier on those finances that I currently contribute too.

Anyway you would think they told me I had a week to live - at least that is how I feel. So my mighty prayer warriors please pray for peace and if it is Gods will a "we caught it now - we can fix it" verdict. And that I can obtain life insurance before I find out I am terminal (lol).

I am also pissed at my lack of anatomy education. What kinds of health classes skip the parts about how the body works? Why don't we learn more intensively (in school) about that. I was talking to an elementary teacher once and she said they get to pick between 2-4 extra subjects to teach - so the others don't get taught? What kinda crap is that! I suppose I will try to learn what I can on my own. After all I still have Dave's Stricklands Anatomy book from back when I tried to take that way to fast course.

Well, I am out - just thought I would share my pissed-off-ness with others.

Further comment on my situation:

I think I will be ok, I am just slightly depressed about it. I will let everyone know more when I talk to the doc. Didn't mean to be such a drama queen - I get that way when I am in a funk. I am probably ok - but will have to change my diet and probably more healthy things being inserted in my life. And if I had to guess more doc and more tests and eventually a medication. It is probably nothing terminal. Sorry to worry you so :) Didn't mean to do that. Will email this to everyone don't want anyone to take my dramatizing totally seriously. Just what I feel like.

I feel like Eeyore (from Winnie the pooh) like I live in a box and their is a rain cloud following me just raining on me. Ya know. One of those things. Sometimes I feel like you get everything going well in life and WHAM BAM out of nowhere an anvil drops on your head.

Anyway, I will probable be ok.