Sometimes finding happiness means being honest with yourself on what you desire and need why you are not getting it. It doesn't always mean that you have to walk away from where you are in life to find happiness. I think that we are our own worst enemy most of the time. Usually people are unhappy in their relationships. They spend hours and hours thinking it is the other person's actions that are making them unhappy but it is usually their own self (like getting overwhelmed with housework and not really knowing how to express this in a manner that gets results). Sometimes it means accepting things we hate because they out weigh the things we love - but usually it means accepting that in our vast abilities are limited in life, as are others.
So back to misery - and the power of the tongue: "Dr. Laura comments that today, women have replaced feminine wiles with disdain, hypersensitivity, criticism, bullying, and nagging. She says a woman’s words destroy the very thing she wants most. Whether it is a more romantic or emotional or communicative husband, example after example from male and female readers and listeners shows that what a woman speaks to her man shapes and molds what she gets back in return. (this is also talked about in the bible on the power of the tongue).
"If I really believe all the things I say/think/complain about him, why on earth are we married?",
"If I love him so much, why do I act so unloving and disrespectful?"
"What will make him continue to love me if I continue to act this way?"
It is amazing how we talk and treat the people we love in life. They get the unshielded uncensored versions of our thought process which means they get the good and the ugly. But sometimes we should think silently before we talk out loud - about how our words will impact the other. If I say this what will that message mean to my listener?
When we talk to children we adapt our speech so they can understand - we must do this for our significant other as well. It is not because they lack comprehension but it is because we need to almost be more manipulate/persuasive when we talk. We have to remain respectful but when we are bothered about something it is usually because we are overwhelmed and need help. Or because we feel like we lack something we long for in the relationship. Demanding the thing we lack will probably cause stress to everyone but talking about what we need, miss, or would love to do is sometimes a better approach (which takes some self contemplation). Dictating the form of help expected usually meets resistance “you forgot to take out the trash again! You know I don’t feel good why didn’t you do the dishes?” but saying simply “I really feel overwhelmed, I could really use your help” can make a significant difference.
Positive in positive out – some people are so positive you just wanna slappem but you don’t and generally speaking they are usually some of the nicest people but it seems like nothing ever fazes them. These people have learned the secret of letting things go – I don’t mean be lazy – I mean having serenity in your life. The kind of peace and tranquility that comes when you can relax accept that you are limited and know you will only get what is intended done. Everything else will happen when it happens.
Anyway on a side note: Things a man needs: “Dr. Laura explains that emotionally men are "simple" creatures and women only need provide such basic necessities as respect, gratitude, food, sex, and some space for "guy time" in order to achieve the happy home they truly desire.”
Inspired by & Quotes from: http://www.cbn.com/700club/guests/bios/laura_schlessinger_021304.aspx
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